Excerpt of The Log number 124: When using the Log to escape a fire, it is a custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on the severity of the fire escaped from depicts how many words are needed: 1-rank, two thousand; 2-rank, one thousand five hundred; 3-rank, one thousand; Only 4-rank or higher are excused from the writing of the letter, even then, it is still recommended.
Log excerpt number 231: If a user of the Log celebrates the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas Log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that person(s) is ineligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:</p>
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings.
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings.
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings.
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'He despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a Log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none. -Book of the Log - Wanderers Saga, verses 7-9.